he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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