I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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