...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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