It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
