dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
