I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
