Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
