wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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