We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Holy sore nipples Batman
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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