i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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