I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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