I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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