Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
