No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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