This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
