Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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