he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
