Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
