The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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