I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
