Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
