I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
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