I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
