ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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