She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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