rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
