something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
