The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
