She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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