i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
