We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
