Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
