No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
