Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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