Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
