Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
