how can u be prego again
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
