Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
