I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do vagina's smell?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
