Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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