do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
