Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
this hospital has no fireball
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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