So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
