and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
