so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
