Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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