mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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