my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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