Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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