I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
