would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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