O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
