there was a trapeze. enough said
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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